Being a writer/artist who puts them self out there is fun, scary and inspiring. I now have over twenty thousand readers across the internet all because I started sharing my thoughts, words and creativity.
Sharing my shy art and words has opened so many doors for me, some I planned on opening, and others that opened themselves. Sharing my art has given me strength and confidence in myself in ways nothing else has. It’s helped me find my voice, overcome many insecurities, develop and grow creatively, and even helped me get some jobs (I work in marketing).
Sharing is extremely rewarding, but it is also petrifying. One of the most common laments I hear from my readers/audience is that they, too, love to write or draw and wish they could share their creations with the world BUT….something holds them back.
There is so much fear and anxiety surrounding sharing your work, especially online where you can’t really control what happens to something once it’s been posted. I want to explore some of these fears, lay them out on the table and call them ugly and see how scary they still are. I personally hate seeing people hold themselves back, especially over a fear or anxiety. Not everyone who shares their writing will be a best-selling author, nor will every artist be the next Banksy. But the rewards of sharing go beyond monetary gains or perceived success. Sharing your work with the world is like screaming from the top of a mountain that you love someone. It feels so good to finally do it.
I had to overcome the fear of sharing in order to eventually publish Growing Gold , and I am still working on getting over it. Right now, I’m too nervous/scared to create any video content. But all I can think about is making really cool tiktoks and youtube videos. But I’m paralyzed. So to help myself, and whoever else is too nervous to start sharing the thing they love to so, I’m going to break it down and make it less scary. By the end hopefully we will all at least understand why we are afraid to share our work (online at least) but also and how to get over the fear of sharing your work.
Why Are We Scared?
This is not an irrational fear. When you create something you are literally making something out of your soul. So naturally, sharing your soul with the internet may take some courage and getting used to. I have bucketed these fears into 4 main categories Emotional fears, Vulnerability Fears, Judgement Fears and Fear of The Work.
Emotional Fears: Shades of Rejection
Fears:
- Others will see my writing/art and judge it for not being very good
- Other more experienced and talented writers/artists will laugh at my attempts
- People I know will see my writing/art and see a different side of me that they don’t know and might think is weird.
- What if I post my writing/art/work and literally no one cares and it goes completely unnoticed?
Do any of these fears resonate with you? Many of our fears center around a fear of rejection, us not being good enough, our work not worthy of sharing, no one will care, or worse- they will notice and laugh!
Of course this is such a natural fear, if you never felt this way about sharing your art then you might actually be a bit of a sociopath, but hey- work it. For the rest of us who are sensitive to social dynamics and rejection, this is not something we want to invite on to ourselves.
So here’s the truth, rejection happens. Sorry. It does. I’ve been sharing my work for a few years now, so I like to think I’m generally used to rejection from people that think my work is bad. Here is an example of some rejection I received recently on Twitter. I had one of my replies in a Twitter thread get a lot of traction, so I self promoted myself, as one does. And this was the response I got:
It happens. You can choose to take something personally or not. Choose not.
Vulnerability Fear- This is Personal
Fears:
- My writing/art is very personal, maybe too personal to share.
- My work is about things I don’t want people in my life to know about me
- My family follows me online and I don’t want to share personal content because they may find out about something that would get me in trouble or hurt/upset them
- People don’t know I do this/am creative and I’m nervous of them seeing that side of me
- I don’t know if I can be that open and exposed and put it all out there
These are great fears. These fears are all pointing to an issue of authenticity and honesty. The fear of being both. Putting our art out there is SCARY! Especially because some of the things that influence us to make art aren’t always the best stories or memories. We may want to write about our traumatic experiences and amazing sex, but don’t necessarily want our aunties and middle school classmates to see it too.
At the end of the article we will go over some possible solutions to these fears. But if you’re problem is other people, it will eventually involve boundaries. Let’s draw them.
Fear of Judgement- It’s Not Good Enough
Fears:
- I want to share my art/writing, but it’s really not that good
- There are so many flaws and mistakes, this piece is not good not to share yet (rinse and repeat)
- I want to share my work but I can’t tell if it’s even good or not
- I compare my work with that of others and I’m quickly discouraged because they are so much better
There’s always going to be someone that is better at doing something you love to do. There is always going to be someone who does thing differently, there are always going to be extremely popular trends. This doesn’t meant that you shouldn’t share your work. It doesn’t make your work “bad”. What actually makes your art bad is that you are so obsessed with perfection that you will never allow your art to breathe. You won’t let it be good therefore it will never be good enough.
Fear of The Work- The Need For Control
Fears:
- What if I share my work and someone steals it and uses it somewhere else more successfully?
- I don’t want people copying/taking screenshots of my work and then sharing it without giving me credit
- What if my work gets stolen and I can’t afford a lawyer to defend it?
- What if my original work seems too similar to what someone else/others are making?
We are scared of sharing our work, getting attention, and then losing it in the same breath. We’ve seen it happen before, independent designers create something and suddenly now Kylie Jenner has it on all her products with no payment or permission. This fear must be valid, there is legal precedent, recent memory, and countless stories falling from the grapevine.
That being said, I think this fear is a bit ego driven. I see so many new writers and artists starting to share their work on Instagram and social media and the FIRST thing they worry about is that you tag them when you share their work. But they only have 2 pieces posted and maybe 27 followers. Why are we so afraid of fame and fortune when we have barely reached our creative potential?
Wasting energy worrying about how someone else will become a billionaire because of our work is ridiculous. It shows that you are insecure and arrogant at the same time. To be afraid that your work is SO good someone is going to steal it. I suggest anyone who feels this way takes a hard honest look at what they create- is it worth stealing? Probably not. Maybe one day it will be. Maybe you will be so lucky.
It’s true that we have all heard the saying that good artists copy and great artists steal, but it’s also true that there’s no such thing as an original thought. Just original ways of expressing or conveying it.
At the end of the day we have to be honest with ourselves. We are not original. We are not that special. We need to get over ourselves. You’re not original. you’re not that special. If someone copies you, congrats, you made it. If no one tries to copy you, congrats, you didn’t put yourself out there.
So Why Do You Want To Share If You’re SO Scared?
Well yeah, of course we still want to do something even if it scares us. I don’t know about you, but sometimes that’s the only reason I want to do something. But this is deeper than that.
I think so many of us feel called to share our personal experiences, creative work and personal projects because we have something to say! Either it’s something we want to get off our chest, or something we feel obligated to share to hopefully help someone else. Or maybe we want to bring awareness to an issue that’s not represented and discussed enough. We want to start conversations. We want to participate in the movement of culture and society. All very noble aims.
The urge to share our most private creations also seems to stem from a need for feedback. So many artists and writers are self taught and do their work in solitude, in a bit of a vacuum. There aren’t teachers or mentors or editors at our disposal to help guide us. Feedback is so underrated. Even that critical stuff. Creating something and then taking a step back to look at it doesn’t really do much. At that point, the artist is blind to their work. They will never be able to see it objectively without help being pulled out of artist vision and into a new perspective. Feedback from the world, whether it’s through likes or retweets or comments, fuels us. Unfortunately the internet is not known for its quality of constructive feedback, so you either get indifference, love or hate. Still, this can be very useful information, much more useful than just staring at a page so long all the letters start looking the same.
In the end we want to share because we want to be loved, healed, heard, understood and helped. Great. So how can we get over these crippling fears in order to get all the wonderful benefits of putting ourselves out there.
How To Get Over It
1- Be Anonymous
So many writers and artists choose to publish their work under different names. Some do this for creative effect, others do this to reclaim their identity, but many also do this to protect themselves from the public. Sia does it. Atticus does it. They conceal who they are so they can only be seen for what they do. It’s an excellent strategy for controlling perceptions and protecting the ego.
Being anonymous can be a permanent or temporary solution depending on your art and intentions. I started posting my poetry on Instagram very anonymously. I didn’t reveal my name or face because I wanted the work to speak for itself. I did this for the first year of posting and by the end of it I had followers messaging me regularly surprised that I was a woman. I was that anonymous. Eventually I realized I wanted to publish and produce more content, so I’d eventually show my face and need a name. But that decision came from a place of experience and comfort. I didn’t feel pressured or unfamiliar.
Forget about who you are for a while. Your first and last name. Separate yourself from your work and let your work steal the show. This can help artists create detachment which helps immensely when it comes to any form of creative or social rejection/critique. They can reject the work but they can’t reject you. And sometimes that tiny bit of separation can save you a lot of heartbreak.
2- Start Super Small
Unless you’re like me and prefer to go head first into both shallow and deep ends, starting small is a great place to start.
Putting your personal work out onto the wild wild web is terrifying. There’s literally billions of people on there. Of course it will be daunting if you just throw it into the void for anyone to see. So start small. Start by sharing something with one friend, someone you can trust. Or a family member, a cousin or your cool mom. Chances are someone like a friend or a family member will at least be polite and say nice things (hopefully!). The point of this is not to get feedback or a certain kind of reaction. The point is to get used to other eyeballs looking at the thing you made.
Ask the what they think, what they get from it, and how it makes them feel. Use it as an opportunity to explore how the beholder sees beauty. You will have to get used to people having their own opinions and perspectives about anything you create. So start small, and gradually work your way up to larger audiences as you feel comfortable.
3- Use Strangers
So if the thought of sharing with a close friend or family member makes you spicy in the armpits, then why not try this- share with strangers instead. This is how I started, way back when. When I was 15 and writing constantly and sharing nothing. The internet was a different place back then, granted. But I knew I wanted to write books one day so I’d have to get used to people reading my writing and giving their 2 cents. But there was no way in hell I was going to show the bullies at school my poetry, so I wasn’t gonna post it on Facebook ( back when it was just statuses).
Strangers are great because they make you feel anonymous. You may not be fully anonymous, but these people don’t know you, they probably don’t care to know you, and won’t be nice to you just because they feel obligated. It’s great!
Now it’s a little harder to find true strangers on the internet these days. And I doubt anyone reading this, who is looking to overcome an anxiety, is going to be comfortable talking to strangers in reality to share your work with them. So the internet will have to do.
Luckily there are many other websites you can share writing/art on that aren’t social media heavy. There are websites specifically for art sharing, forums, subreddits.
Because strangers don’t owe each other anything so they have no reason to protect your feelings. But also, because they are strangers, they don’t matter to us and their opinions won’t cut as deep as the opinions of our crush or bff might.
4- Be Honest
If you’re scared, say it.
I can’t count the amount of times I have seen personal friends or acquaintances post on social media (on their personal accounts they use to post their regular life things) a big long post about something extremely personal to them- a project, a fear, a life update. And in that big long post are confessions of fear. “I’m not gonna lie, posting this is pretty scary”. I’m sure you’ve seen the same too.
I think there is something beautiful and powerful about this kind of honesty. Being honest about being scared is brave. Because you invite people to see your weakness while they watch you simultaneously overcome it. Powerful stuff.
If you want to post a painting to your social media but you think it’s garbage and you’re scared of putting yourself out there- SAY IT!
I choose to believe that people are mostly good. I think people will choose to be good and kind 90% of the time, and you can increase those chances by setting the tone of honesty and respect. Let people know you’re afraid, but that you’re taking the first step. Ask them what they think, but stay mindful that this is a first for you. Invite them to share their perspective, while reminding them that this is serious for you.
Honesty is the best policy.
5-Filter People
If you REALLY want to share your work on social media but there are people in your life/following you that are bad vibes- remove them. Limit them. Restrict them. Unfollow them. Make them unfollow you.
You do not owe anyone anything. You don’t not owe anyone access to your life, your mind, your heart or your soul. If you have cousins that are annoying and will just post unsolicited advice on your poem about depression remove them.
Depending on the platform, there are many sneaky ways to restrict someone’s access to you. Figure out the best restrictions for you, but if you find this is becoming more and more of an issue you can’t resolve without worrying that mom will call you demanding to know why you blocked her sister, then find another solution, love. Start a new account or page or whatever. Add the people in your life that are cool, and block everyone you don’t want coming to the party.
Life is too short for these people. Remove them regardless.
6- Keep Trying (For The Right Reasons)
Don’t give up. Plain and simple. If you really want to put your work out there, do it. But make sure you are doing it with the right intentions. If you want to share your work with the world because you have so much inside you you want to share, you know the world needs more emotional depth and beauty, and you want to help people feel more connected and less alone- then spam the internet with everything you create.
But if you are looking to share your art because you want to be the greatest artist of all time, a best selling author, a world-changing-sheep-awakening creator, then you need to chill out and maybe not share your work for a little while.
Whenever the ego is involved, so is disappointment and suffering. If you think sharing your work will result in recognition, money, fans, and spiritual awakening you will be sorely hurt when none of that ever happens. So save yourself the hurt. Destroy all your expectations.
You can still have goals. You can have a goal to one day be a best selling author. But because it’s so competitive, it’s not a realistic goal. It’s a dream. And please, keep following your dreams. Just keep in mind, these things take a LOT of time and a lot of the conditions for mass success are out of your hands.
Make your goals grounded in your work. Work to grow, improve, develop and learn new techniques and skills. If you make success, notoriety and fame your end game, you’ll die playing. Quickly.
Final Thoughts
Sharing is caring. If you care about your work, if you care about others- put yourself out there.
If you care more about credit, fame, or money- stop sharing. Your misplaced goals are probably affecting the quality anyway.
I mentioned earlier in this post that I have been too afraid to make Tiktoks. Well I made one recently all about getting over these fears! Please enjoy my cringe:
PART 1 OF GETTING OVER IT! #selflove #dance #selfhelp #contentcreator
What do you think? What do you want to share and where do you think is the best place to share it? Let me know your thoughts and questions syrahkai@gmail.com
Syrah Kai is a poet, artist and strategist from Vancouver Canada. Her first book of poems Growing Gold follows the “work” involved in transformation and personal alchemy, it is a journey of death and rebirth along the lines of love, loss, trauma, mental illness, and the great et cetera. Syrah is working on her second book in between strategy projects. Follow on Instagram for poems: Follow Syrah Kai on Instagram for art and poems
